Sister Wives Divorce: “Meri, you have my sympathy.”

sister-wives-season-finale-divorceSo here recently I had been joking about having a sister wife with a dear friend of mine, and after the conversation I started to give it further thought.  If you know me, then you know my further thoughts tend to get derailed and end up in some dark and dank ravines, however this time I was slightly enlightened.  I was a big fan of HBO’s show Big Love, which caused me to take an interest into plural marriages.  Watching the show I became attached to the characters as anyone does in art that interests them and I was able to connect on a psychological level with them as I better understood the ideas of their storylines.  Follow me here.  HBO’s big love did for plural marriages what photo shop does for the fashion industry.  It provided an illusion to both the beauty and the horror underneath the subject line.  I think Kody Brown thought he could pull off the same illusion with the reality television show, “Sister Wives” however his script just isn’t strong enough to get the audience to buy it.

The whole plural marriage idea has left me fascinated for years. While there are disadvantages for both sexes, the advantages become almost desirable the more I think about it.  I practically requested the advantages after the birth of my third child in a broken marriage and up to my elbows in toddlers and housework.  I’ll be honest.  I was tired of having sex with my husband because he was no help and added to list of chores rather than take away from it, I was overwhelmed with house duties and responsibilities, I was sleep deprived to the point mental instability, and no one visited me so I was lonely.  Had it not been for Facebook, my story today might be on the side of tragedy rather than triumph.  So to get to my point, yes I could have used a sister wife.  Someone to live in the home and share my wifely and motherly duties and I do the same in return for her. And since we know men are happy when their sexual needs are met, this would have made a husband happy enough to go out and work to provide for his growing family.

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You don’t even have to say it.  I know this was the “Big Love” illusion of plural marriage that I was seeing, but part of me hoped that it was true.  Then “Sister Wives” aired and I saw what being the first wife really is when I saw Meri Brown in her first interview.  Even if plural marriages are the accepted norm of your culture, there are still psychological characteristics of human behavior that makes this act a struggle for all individuals involved.  (Especially the children)  So when rumors started surfacing that Meri was asking for divorce, I saw the pattern emerge when I saw the age of her child.  And in this case, I believe that as the other children all grow and leave the house, the pattern of the mother separating herself from the chaos will continue. These women with the exception of Robyn, are still in the marriage for their children.  They are no longer in it for the love and affection of Kody.  They are doing what they have to do to survive.  Have you seen their houses???  I see other women bash these sister wives because they “allow” their husband to sleep with other women and I think it’s unfair.  You don’t know what you’d do until you are in that position.  When your greatest fear is not being able to take care of your children you will consider selling your soul to make sure that you do.  These women haven’t made a deal with the devil, but they made a lifestyle choice that helped them survive some of the darkest days of their lives.  And who are we to judge?  I support plural marriage if women are conscientious and educated on the choice they are making and that the man they marry is of sound mind and capable of taking on more than one wife.  (None of that Pimp shit)  I’m happy to see Meri legally free from her ties to Kody.  It will be interesting to see if she will stay out of loyalty or  take her money, sell her house, and keep walking out of necessity.

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Angie Stone Follows Through On Every Momma’s Promise To Knock Teeth Out

hqdefault (1)You’ve seen the pictures and read the headlines, but have you gone through the comments?  Well, if you do you might be surprised to find out that most people are supporting Angie’s parenting methods of her 30 year old daughter that is living on her dime and allowing her kids to run amok in her home.  I can’t say that if my grown ass child punched me in the face after I told her to clean up after herself and kids in my house I wouldn’t have busted her in the face and knocked a few teeth loose either.

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My question about the scandal is this:  Why is there no bruising?  Were her teeth about to fall out anyway?  Good strong teeth don’t just break and if you hit someone hard enough to break their “good” teeth, then there’s going to be a good deal of swelling and bruising.  I see none in this photo, and I think there’s more to the story than we’re getting at the moment.  I’ll keep watching to see how it unfolds.  Until then, Hang in there Angie!

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Brace Yourselves Parents: SnapChat is DOWN

snapchatTake shelter, your teen is about to get moodier.  The popular SnapChat is currently experiencing an outage.  Let’s hope they get this up and running again soon because now Twitter is starting to buzz.  My poor teenage daughter can’t go 20 mins without recording video of herself so I have the commitment papers prepared and waiting by the front door.  It’ll all blow over…right?

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Mystery Solved!!!!!

The Dress

So the internet is ablaze with debate  over this God awful ugly dress. After nearly ruining a friendship over the color of this dress this morning, I was determined to get to the bottom of this.  I’m a science kinda girl.  I believe every phenomena can be explained by science.  So, I’m not like Mulder, I’m like Sculley, I don’t want to believe.  I want to know the truth.  And I found it on Wired.com.  Thanks guys.  You saved my life this morning.  I was starting to think the government was trying to filter out Divergents.

It’s all about how your eyes filter light.  If you want to know the bottom line science, read here.  Now that you know…

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Mom Stabs Son In Confrontation Over Pork Chops

pork chop momBefore you get it twisted like trending headline for this story, this mother did not stab her son for eating pork chops.  She didn’t even stab him.  She threw a knife at him and it nicked his finger.  No it wasn’t the right thing to do in this situation, but the kid is going to live, he can still do homework; and if the state doesn’t stop his mother from continuing to put her foot up his ass, he might actually be a productive member of society.

Raising teenagers is one of the hardest jobs on earth.  I don’t know a single mother who hasn’t at some point during their child’s teen years stopped and pondered whether or not they should have swallowed.   And Yolanda Veasley has clearly, by looking at her mugshot, pulled her out over the 15 year old living in her home.  After reading the story you will see that she didn’t start throwing knives at the discovery of the missing pork chops, but did so after catching her son in a lie, confronting him over the lie, and then being physically pushed down.  That’s enough to make any woman forget that she is a mother for a minute.  Let’s not forget that some 15 year old boys are bigger and stronger than they used to make them 30 years ago.  But leave it to the state of Ohio to send a mixed message by arresting his mother on felony charges for the fight, but ignoring the child’s behavior and not pressing charges again him, instead making him the victim.  Bad form Ohio.  The best solution?  Create a family plan through the Department of Social Services and provide this family with the counseling and help that they need.  This might mean that DSS has to take a break from snatching children out of their homes in order to actually go into the homes to work on the problem, but hey, every program has room for improvement.

The media has done a crappy job of telling this story, but I’m hoping they keep squawking about it because I’d really be interested to find out how things turn out for this family.

You can read the story here.

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Whitest Oscars In History? So What.

oscars-so-white-memes-1I can’t tell you how bad I wanted to just ignore the whole “Whitest Oscars” topic, but this morning I read an article that just left my head spinning as to just how discombobulated people are to issue of race and equality in this country and the world for that matter.  We’re looking to our leaders demanding change when the change we seek is in our very hands.  And with those same hands, we are slowly destroying the prospect of the change in which we seek.  I started this blog to provide a springboard for conversation topics that involve childrearing from a reality stand point.  This is not your typical mommy blog.  We don’t do bake sales, organize clutter, or provide tips on potty training.  Here we don’t focus on the child.  We focus on the parent.  Because the parent will be the direct result of the contributions their tiny humans will give the plant, which brings me to why I’m writing about this article.

Jackie Bischof writes, “Unfortunately, it appears a large majority of our awards are presented to blacks when we play roles where we are servants, slaves, ghetto moms, or thugs. The sad part is that many of these actors have been in other movies that have been just as good, yet they went unrecognized when they didn’t “fit the description. (Bischof, 2015)” Thank God this was an opinion piece because in the article, ‘Hollywood’s Blacks: Servants, Slaves, Ghetto Moms and Thugs’ Bischof seems to blame Hollywood films for not giving accolades to movies that portray positive images of black people.  Well, I’ll give you three reasons that I beg to differ.  Forrest Whitaker (‘The Last King of Scottland), Whoopie Goldberg (If you remember she won for Ghost, not The Color Purple), and Russell Williams (Producer of the movie ‘Glory’).   Those aren’t the only reasons, because we can’t leave out greats like Louis Gossett Jr,  Sydney Poitier, and Jamie Fox’s portrayal of Ray Charles.  The list goes on, not very far, but it goes on and I think that’s what Bischof needed to have looked at before writing this article. And I’ve got news for you, white people have won Oscars for playing some very shady roles.  Just think back on Anthony Hopkins (‘Silence of the Lambs’), Kathy Bates (‘Misery’) and Javier Bardem (‘No Country for Old Men’). But that’s still not why I’m writing today.  If Bischof feels that Hollywood is to blame for our children knowing more about celebrities and athletes versus who Benjamin Banneker was then she and the rest of society that feels that way are seriously convoluted.  If you want your children to grow up knowing who Garret Morgan was, or that the first black female millionaire was Madame C.J. Walker and not Oprah then YOU HAVE TO TEACH THEM, not Hollywood.  And if parents are sitting back waiting on Hollywood to teach their children then we really have a problem.

Parents, stop blaming society for what’s wrong with your children.  You control your household and if you don’t, then you need to stage and ambush and take control back.  Yes, there are many parts of black history that may as well have never happened according to the generation of kids we’re raising, but that’s because we are allowing teachable moments to slip past us every day.  And it’s not just black history that’s being lost, its Jewish history, Irish history, Croatian history, Brazilian history, Canadian history (yes, Canada has a history) and I could go on forever.  Traditions are passed down by responsible family matriarchs.  You don’t just have to have one in your family.  You can all be one.  Don’t wait for a special month or holiday to education your children on where they come from.  Do it every day, because it’s who they are.  If you want true history to come to the big screen, teach it to the children who will one day write the screenplays.

 Read the full article here

Bischof, J. (2015, 02 21). http://www.newsweek.com/hollywoods-blacks-servants-slaves-ghetto-moms-and-thugs-308436. Retrieved 02 23, 2015, from Newsweek.com/Opinions : http://www.newsweek.com/hollywoods-blacks-servants-slaves-ghetto-moms-and-thugs-308436

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The Pope Says, “Beat Yo Kids!!!”

little boy-popeThe Catholic Church has really gotten a bad rap over the past 20 years or so…okay, maybe longer….but this new pope, is giving the Church life.  His views are refreshing and more realistic than any pope that I’ve seen in my lifetime, and for the sake of the church, I hope this trend continues.

It seems that Pope Francis is now poking a bee’s nest in the pediatric community by supporting the issue of spanking children.  Please know that the headline for this blog post is in joking fashion, it is never cool to beat children.  However, no child has ever died or suffered serious injury from a firm swat on the ass and a stern talking too.  Especially when their behavior is putting them in harms way and they don’t respond to simple requests.  I’m sure this story will be just the tip of the iceberg on this subject so I wanted to join in on the debate.  I too support spanking.  I believe that taking that form of discipline from parenting is the reason the world is asking, “What in the hell is wrong with today’s children???”.  The Pope is likely to catch a lot grief over this one, because everyone who supports spanking does, but I’m behind him 100%.   Pope Francis, keep kicking ass and taking names.

You can read more here.

Parents, take a moment to tell me how you feel by either commenting or taking our quick poll.

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