Mystery Solved!!!!!

The Dress

So the internet is ablaze with debate  over this God awful ugly dress. After nearly ruining a friendship over the color of this dress this morning, I was determined to get to the bottom of this.  I’m a science kinda girl.  I believe every phenomena can be explained by science.  So, I’m not like Mulder, I’m like Sculley, I don’t want to believe.  I want to know the truth.  And I found it on Wired.com.  Thanks guys.  You saved my life this morning.  I was starting to think the government was trying to filter out Divergents.

It’s all about how your eyes filter light.  If you want to know the bottom line science, read here.  Now that you know…

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Mom Stabs Son In Confrontation Over Pork Chops

pork chop momBefore you get it twisted like trending headline for this story, this mother did not stab her son for eating pork chops.  She didn’t even stab him.  She threw a knife at him and it nicked his finger.  No it wasn’t the right thing to do in this situation, but the kid is going to live, he can still do homework; and if the state doesn’t stop his mother from continuing to put her foot up his ass, he might actually be a productive member of society.

Raising teenagers is one of the hardest jobs on earth.  I don’t know a single mother who hasn’t at some point during their child’s teen years stopped and pondered whether or not they should have swallowed.   And Yolanda Veasley has clearly, by looking at her mugshot, pulled her out over the 15 year old living in her home.  After reading the story you will see that she didn’t start throwing knives at the discovery of the missing pork chops, but did so after catching her son in a lie, confronting him over the lie, and then being physically pushed down.  That’s enough to make any woman forget that she is a mother for a minute.  Let’s not forget that some 15 year old boys are bigger and stronger than they used to make them 30 years ago.  But leave it to the state of Ohio to send a mixed message by arresting his mother on felony charges for the fight, but ignoring the child’s behavior and not pressing charges again him, instead making him the victim.  Bad form Ohio.  The best solution?  Create a family plan through the Department of Social Services and provide this family with the counseling and help that they need.  This might mean that DSS has to take a break from snatching children out of their homes in order to actually go into the homes to work on the problem, but hey, every program has room for improvement.

The media has done a crappy job of telling this story, but I’m hoping they keep squawking about it because I’d really be interested to find out how things turn out for this family.

You can read the story here.

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Whitest Oscars In History? So What.

oscars-so-white-memes-1I can’t tell you how bad I wanted to just ignore the whole “Whitest Oscars” topic, but this morning I read an article that just left my head spinning as to just how discombobulated people are to issue of race and equality in this country and the world for that matter.  We’re looking to our leaders demanding change when the change we seek is in our very hands.  And with those same hands, we are slowly destroying the prospect of the change in which we seek.  I started this blog to provide a springboard for conversation topics that involve childrearing from a reality stand point.  This is not your typical mommy blog.  We don’t do bake sales, organize clutter, or provide tips on potty training.  Here we don’t focus on the child.  We focus on the parent.  Because the parent will be the direct result of the contributions their tiny humans will give the plant, which brings me to why I’m writing about this article.

Jackie Bischof writes, “Unfortunately, it appears a large majority of our awards are presented to blacks when we play roles where we are servants, slaves, ghetto moms, or thugs. The sad part is that many of these actors have been in other movies that have been just as good, yet they went unrecognized when they didn’t “fit the description. (Bischof, 2015)” Thank God this was an opinion piece because in the article, ‘Hollywood’s Blacks: Servants, Slaves, Ghetto Moms and Thugs’ Bischof seems to blame Hollywood films for not giving accolades to movies that portray positive images of black people.  Well, I’ll give you three reasons that I beg to differ.  Forrest Whitaker (‘The Last King of Scottland), Whoopie Goldberg (If you remember she won for Ghost, not The Color Purple), and Russell Williams (Producer of the movie ‘Glory’).   Those aren’t the only reasons, because we can’t leave out greats like Louis Gossett Jr,  Sydney Poitier, and Jamie Fox’s portrayal of Ray Charles.  The list goes on, not very far, but it goes on and I think that’s what Bischof needed to have looked at before writing this article. And I’ve got news for you, white people have won Oscars for playing some very shady roles.  Just think back on Anthony Hopkins (‘Silence of the Lambs’), Kathy Bates (‘Misery’) and Javier Bardem (‘No Country for Old Men’). But that’s still not why I’m writing today.  If Bischof feels that Hollywood is to blame for our children knowing more about celebrities and athletes versus who Benjamin Banneker was then she and the rest of society that feels that way are seriously convoluted.  If you want your children to grow up knowing who Garret Morgan was, or that the first black female millionaire was Madame C.J. Walker and not Oprah then YOU HAVE TO TEACH THEM, not Hollywood.  And if parents are sitting back waiting on Hollywood to teach their children then we really have a problem.

Parents, stop blaming society for what’s wrong with your children.  You control your household and if you don’t, then you need to stage and ambush and take control back.  Yes, there are many parts of black history that may as well have never happened according to the generation of kids we’re raising, but that’s because we are allowing teachable moments to slip past us every day.  And it’s not just black history that’s being lost, its Jewish history, Irish history, Croatian history, Brazilian history, Canadian history (yes, Canada has a history) and I could go on forever.  Traditions are passed down by responsible family matriarchs.  You don’t just have to have one in your family.  You can all be one.  Don’t wait for a special month or holiday to education your children on where they come from.  Do it every day, because it’s who they are.  If you want true history to come to the big screen, teach it to the children who will one day write the screenplays.

 Read the full article here

Bischof, J. (2015, 02 21). http://www.newsweek.com/hollywoods-blacks-servants-slaves-ghetto-moms-and-thugs-308436. Retrieved 02 23, 2015, from Newsweek.com/Opinions : http://www.newsweek.com/hollywoods-blacks-servants-slaves-ghetto-moms-and-thugs-308436

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The Pope Says, “Beat Yo Kids!!!”

little boy-popeThe Catholic Church has really gotten a bad rap over the past 20 years or so…okay, maybe longer….but this new pope, is giving the Church life.  His views are refreshing and more realistic than any pope that I’ve seen in my lifetime, and for the sake of the church, I hope this trend continues.

It seems that Pope Francis is now poking a bee’s nest in the pediatric community by supporting the issue of spanking children.  Please know that the headline for this blog post is in joking fashion, it is never cool to beat children.  However, no child has ever died or suffered serious injury from a firm swat on the ass and a stern talking too.  Especially when their behavior is putting them in harms way and they don’t respond to simple requests.  I’m sure this story will be just the tip of the iceberg on this subject so I wanted to join in on the debate.  I too support spanking.  I believe that taking that form of discipline from parenting is the reason the world is asking, “What in the hell is wrong with today’s children???”.  The Pope is likely to catch a lot grief over this one, because everyone who supports spanking does, but I’m behind him 100%.   Pope Francis, keep kicking ass and taking names.

You can read more here.

Parents, take a moment to tell me how you feel by either commenting or taking our quick poll.

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The Primal Behavior Link Between Teens and Cell Phones

NJ-studentSo, we know that cell phones are important to our teenagers.  But did you know that the addiction to the device will entice primal behavior when they are separated from it?  Like animals that are bewildered and frighten, teens have been known to become aggressive and even predatory when their cell phones are lost, stolen, or taken by an adult.  A few weeks ago my daughter’s cell phone was stolen off a school activity bus during a basketball game.  Actually, all of the cheerleaders’ cell phones were stolen off the activity bus by the other rival team as some sort of payback.  I was upset, but my daughter acted like someone had shaved her head bald while she was sleeping.  Maniacal is the best literate term I can come up with to describe her behavior, however, if wanted to break it down point blank…she went straight fool.  All of the girls did. There was police presence at the game so the response by authorities was immediate.  But they had no idea what there up against.  15 hormonal teenage girls who had just had their entire “lives” stolen from them.  I watched in sheer horror and awe for nearly 8 minutes at the chaos surrounding me.  The tears, the screaming, the parents trying to hold the girls back from perusing physical altercations.  And the poor police officers.  With a stern voice and few profanities, I managed to get my daughter under control, well somewhat.  She spent the rest of night vocalizing how she’d been “disrespected” and how her phone was the most important thing in her existence and now her life was ruined.  (Big F-ing Eye Roll)
When I came across the video I’m sharing with you guys today (click the picture for video link) I immediately was taken back to that day.  Although I could spot the difference in the male/female reaction I also noticed one common denominator in the behavior’s trigger.  The cell phone.  I’m not saying that teachers shouldn’t take kids cell phones, but teacher, be wary when you do.  It’s like taking a steak from between the jaws of a lion.  Yes, he might walk away, stranger things have happened, but don’t expect it.  On the other hand, while teachers should expect mental breakdowns when separating a teen from their phones, they shouldn’t have to endure violence.  My suggestion?  Teach our kids that when they get out of pocket (out of control) not to expect the other party not to stoop to their level.  In this video you can see that this teacher is a kind and gentle man, completely unprepared for the childish creature attacking him.  So what really bothers me about this video is none of the other kids came to his defense.  They could see that it wasn’t a fair fight, but you also see these children in the video get up and walk away saying, “I’m not getting in that.”  Where is their sense of civic duty?  Where did we miss the mark in teaching our children how to be good honest upstanding citizens and step in when they see that something is not justified?  Are we sending our children out into the world with the message, “It’s none of your business, keep moving.”?  It looks like it.  And that’s sad.

Now to end this post with a look on the upside of the issue.  We do have teachers who are fighting back.

brawl18n-3-webIn this video (click the picture for video link), the teacher, after being under fire from the student for quite some time while waiting for help to arrive, opens a can whoop ass on her attacker.  And while some are saying that the teacher was out of place, which she was, I feel that her reaction was appropriate for the situation.  Give this teacher a raise and let her go back to work.  Many of the kids today have no fear of consequences because as parents we are not consistent with applying consequences at home.  In such cases, you see incidents like these where students have gone beyond disrespect for their teachers and authority figures.  That feeling of being invincible has always been a complex of the adolescent mind, but has increased in complexity and recurrence because they honestly believe that the result of their ill behavior will be nothing.  As parents, when we want to discipline our kids and our first thought is to take their cell phones, we stop ourselves because then, how would monitor and keep up with them?  After all, isn’t that we got them a cell for?  Can we really help that the cell phone came with all these gadgets that many of us don’t understand or know how to use, keep our teens nearly surgically connected to the device.  The answer is, yes, we can.  It’s called parental control.  Stop fearing that your kid is going to be kidnapped or stranded because you took their cell phone.  Come up with alternative methods of contact for when you do have to take their toy.  A prepaid Trac Phone comes to mind.  Parents, stop being afraid to discipline your children because the cops aren’t.  And if you do it, then they will.

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Teacher Gives New Meaning to Sex Education

5328718_G-665x385Just as it doesn’t make the situation any better that Symone Greene was only a substitute teacher it doesn’t make it any better that just was a young woman having sexual relations with a man. And it certainly shouldn’t matter that it was only oral sex.  Child molestation is still child molestation and the Washington DC Police Department felt the same way as they set up a minor texting sting to catch Greene.

Apparently the no so smart educator decided to perform oral sex on high school football player in a classroom and expected the student not to go back and tell all of his friends?  Did this woman even go to high school???  Of course he’s going to run back and tell all of his friends.  He’s a 17 year old football player!!!  Well the student not only ran back and told all of his friends, he made a video of the incident.  So there’s hard evidence and we call all rest assured that this predator is going to jail.  No, I don’t think her sentence needs to be light, although the courts will probably take into account the age of consent and the age and number of this woman’s past offenses.  But tell me why is it that we don’t view female teacher/child offenders the same as we do males?  The crime really is the same, yet many think it isn’t.  Many people feel like it’s a young male student’s dream to get dome from his teacher and if she’s willing then what’s the problem?  That idea alone says a lot about how we feel about women in this country, and it’s not good.

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She didn’t make a mistake.  She knew what she was doing was wrong when she was doing it and she needs to suffer the consequence.  Pretty young teachers don’t get a pass.

 

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From Homecoming Prince to Killer: How Parental Social Media Monitoring Could Have Stopped This Tragedy

10712810_583333025104732_5160191985607443984_nI thought about this post for a while before committing to it because some of the victims are still fighting for their lives.  It wasn’t until I took the time to find and read Mr. Fyberg’s tweets that I decided this was an important topic to discuss.  The reason I’m posting about this is not to glorify school shootings because I can’t really think of anything more frightening for students and parents to endure.  When you drop you child off at school, you have a sense that you are leaving them in a safe haven and that you will see them later on that day.  For that to be shattered by news of a gunman posing imminent danger is nightmare that I would never want to live out and shatters my believe in school safety when I think about how many parents have had to live out that nightmare.

I have a niece who is about the same age as the kids involved in yesterday’s school shooting and I’m constantly reading her Facebook posts.  Her parents and I now no longer speak because of my warnings to them about her social media activities and their belief that their angel can do no wrong, so there’s really nothing I can do while reading the disturbing posts.  In the last month I’ve seen her profess her love to over 10 different boys and cry about each of them after they dumped her.  I’ve snooped through some of the boys pages and watched how they changed their relationship status to involve a new girl ever other day.  Some would say this is just kids being kids, but when one of those boys is 22 years old claiming to be in love with my 14-year-old niece, I have to cry foul.  After reading shooter Jaylen’s tweets I noticed the same pattern.  Children acting like adults in a setting without supervision, not understanding the adult emotional consequences of their actions.

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What I discovered in these tweets is that the shooting was the result over a fight over a girl.  Had parents been monitoring their kids social media interactions they might have seen something like this coming.  There used to be a time when would encourage our girls to take relationships seriously and not to jump from guy to guy, and not to trust boys who ran through girlfriends like box of tissues during flu season.  As parents we used to be able to keep track of this by how many times the phone rang or how many times someone knocked at the door.  Now with social media, kids are running a muck and no one is there to say, “Stop!”  There is no dialog on the emotions that come with sexual relationships, so we can’t expect our kids to figure it out on their own. We have to intercede through social media and force them to come clean about their interactions.  This is no longer an issue of privacy.  If your kid wanted privacy they wouldn’t be telling the world what they’re doing every minute of the day on twitter.  So snoop parents!!!  Read what they’re saying and confront their behavior daily.  Ask them what these emoji’s mean and what their cryptic status posts are about.  Sexting is just serious as sex.  While it might not be a cause of pregnancy or STD’s it still has an effect on mental health.  Times are changing, teen/child interactions are changing, and we need to change with them. Add them on Facebook, follow them on Instagram and Twitter, keep up with them on Kick and Snapchat, and monitor them on social media.

If you’re asking yourself why Jaylen Fryberg didn’t fit the profile for most school shooters, it’s because he could have just as well been your child.  His actions were the result emotions he couldn’t handle, triggered by interactions he wasn’t mature enough to be practicing.  Close parental supervision could have kept this tragedy from happening.  As parents, let’s vow to get more involved with our children, and keep this from happening again.

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